Serena Goes Back Stage!
by Ereina-chan
Summary: Sorry bout the screw up on the other title. THIS IS THE THIRD STORY TO SERENA'S BEACH BASH! Very funny. We see how the actors from SM DBZ AF YGO and plenty more act in REAL life. Well, real life w/ UFOs....


Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, but I wish I did. And now... Announcer Dude: From the loonies that brought you the last few chapters, here comes:  
  
SERENA BACKSTAGE!  
  
That's right. We get to go behind the scenes with the crazy actors and actresses who play out these hilarious parts! And, we might even get to meet the authoress herself!  
  
Elena: Cool, I'm an authoress!  
  
Announcer Dude: And here's your hostess, Serena!!!!!!  
  
(Clapping from no where.)  
  
Serena: Thank you, thank you. I'm Serena and welcome to tonight's show. Yes, I'm live backstage at the set for the future Serena Movie. Tonight, we are going to go behind the scenes to-  
  
Announcer Dude: I already told them that.  
  
Serena: Right. Well anyway. If you'll just follow me- yoo-hoo? Camera Dude? This way. Thanks. This is the hall way where the stars dressing rooms are.  
  
(There's a poster of four familiar people in camouflage stuff back to back on the door next to Serena.)  
  
Serena: Yeah, if you'll just look at this poster, you'll see one of the clubs that have been forming backstage. Actually, it's more like a clique. These four people have become good friends. *Serena steps inside.*  
  
Artemis: Hi, Serena.  
  
Hotaru, Peggy and Voldy: *unenthusiastically* Hey.  
  
Artemis: Oh, I see. This is that Backstage Program, isn't it? Hi camera! So, we became a club because we all have one thing in common: all our dads were evil.  
  
Peggy: It's true.  
  
Voldy: If you think and compare long enough. So now, even though our characters that we play are enemies, well, to Hotaru anyway, in real life we're really good friends.  
  
Peggy: And I'm not really that retarded!  
  
Serena: Well that's cool. But what's with all the camo?  
  
Hotaru: It's stylish.  
  
All four: We call ourselves the Bad Dad Association!  
  
Serena: Oookay! We'll just be leaving now.  
  
Artemis: Bye, Serena!  
  
Peggy, Voldy, and Hotaru (unenthusiastically): Later.  
  
(Serena closes the door and starts heading into a room with a computer. Yami and Harry are by the computer. Peggy had followed Serena down the hall into the room.)  
  
Serena: Oh, hi Pegasus. Whacha doing?  
  
Peggy: Since this is on live television, I wanted to prove that my character that I play is entirely different from the real me. For example, I wouldn't have sung "Barbie Girl" at the end of the last chapter. I would have sung, "Man, I feel like a woman!"  
  
(Outer space, again.)  
  
Everyone in every language: WRONG!!!!  
  
(Backstage) Peggy: Just kidding. And me and Yugi-boy get along just fine, right Yugi?  
  
Yami: *Sarcastically* Riiiiight. (Fakes a smile)  
  
(Peggy nudges Yami playfully and Yami nudges him back and then Peggy nudges him harder and then Yami nudges him harder...etc.)  
  
Daniel Radcliffe: Oh, hi Serena! Great news! We just finished the theme song of the Serena Series!  
  
Serena (to camera): By the way, Daniel is a graphic artist in real life, and Yami has his own talk show.  
  
Yami: Its Yami and Kelly Live.  
  
Camera Dude: Oh really? What happened to "Regis and Kelly Live"?  
  
Yami: I'm filling in for Regis while he sabotages the next Serena Movie.  
  
(Shows Regis ripping up film canisters.)  
  
Serena (frowning): Shoot! We worked hard on that! We're gonna have to shoot it again!  
  
All the dudes backstage: Awwww! REGIS!!  
  
(Regis is mysteriously gone.)  
  
Serena: Well, let's see the theme song.  
  
(What they saw. It's the words from the Sailor Moon theme song.) Song: What's Happening: Introduction Shows Elena typing at the computer which blows up and Serena, Ash, and Krum Are glowing white flying out of the explosion. Then it shows Crossover beach. Fighting Evil by moonlight! Saturn is running across the Beach and turns evil and throws an attack Winning Love by Daylight! Voldy drives in Monster Truck through explosion and does a pop-a- wheelie. Smoke billows behind it. Never running from a real fight! Peggy appears walking through the smoke and flings his hair back to reveal Eye. Big Flash of light at camera. She is the one called SAILOR MOON! Big Flash now looks like it's coming from Yami's palm. Yami blasts Harry. She would never turn her back on her Friends. Harry does a billion somersaults from being hit by Yami, then stops himself and grabs Hermione's hand as she's falling off a cliff. She is always there to defend! Fleur comes and levitates Hermione while smiling. She is the one on whom we can Depend! Team Rocket appears in front of them and smirks. She is the one called SAILOR... Everyone sees each other and gets angry. SAILOR VENUS! Everyone is flying in the air launching attacks at each other. SAILOR MERCURY!  
  
SAILOR MARS!  
  
SAILOR JUPITER!  
  
Herr secret powers are so new to her! Ash, Krum, and Serena appear in white and glowing. She is the one called SAILOR MOON!! Big Explosion from Ash, Krum, and Serena. Guitar solo (sounds kind sad at first.) Shows all the good guys at night wading on the beach. Guitar solo (sounds evil now.) Shows all the bad guys with knives in their hands looking very scary. Fighting evil by moonlight! Everyone sees each other again, good guys on one side, bad guys on the other side, both glowing with power except for Ash, Serena, and Krum. Winning love by daylight! Never running from a real fight! She is the one Called Sailor Moon! Ash, Krum and Serena appear in middle and everything blows up. KOed people all around them. She is the one called Sailor Moon! Serena, Ash, and Krum put a hand behind their head and laugh. She is the one, SAILOR MOON! Everyone jumps up and poses.  
  
Serena: Wow! You must have worked hard!  
  
(Serena moves on into another room with Ash holding some money next to a guy with a cart of knives.)  
  
Ash: Oh! Serena! You're just in time to see me buy my first knife!  
  
Serena: Wow! (To camera) Y'see, in real life Ash wants to pursue his dream to become an orthopedic surgeon.  
  
(Ash nods his head feverishly.)  
  
Serena: This is very exciting. Let's watch.  
  
Guy w/ cart: *Hands Ash a knife.* Try this one.  
  
(Knife screams @ Ash)  
  
Guy: No, definitely not. Here *gives Ash another knife.*  
  
(Knife falls apart.)  
  
Guy: Nope, nope.  
  
(Guy pulls out extra shiny knife.)  
  
Guy: Hmm, I wonder. *Gives it to Ash*  
  
(Knife glows.)  
  
Guy: Curious, very curious.  
  
Ash: Sorry, but, what's curious?  
  
Daniel (pops in): HEY! This is vaguely familiar! (Pops out.)  
  
Guy: It is curious that you should be destined for this knife, when its brother, gave you that SCAR!  
  
Ash; *Gasp! Looks at the scar on his arm shaped like a cloud. Looks over at Misty, who just appeared in the room.*  
  
(Misty smiles revealing her fangs and hisses. Dude with cart starts cackling like a maniac. Ash inches toward the door.)  
  
Ash: Uh, I'll just go with you guys.  
  
(Serena and Ash head down the hall when they're stopped by three people with black t-shirts on. On the black t-shirts is a little white stick figure holding a pencil and a piece of paper.)  
  
Serena: Uh, hi, Fleur, Krum, and Hermione.  
  
Hermione: (looking perfectly serious.) We need that camera. *points at camera*  
  
Serena: Really? What for?  
  
Hermione: We are here to do a documentary on the Blair Authoress.  
  
(The camera dude flicks a button and the Screen turns black and white. He starts running and panting.)  
  
Serena: WAIT!! COME BACK!! WE HAVEN"T EVEN STARTED!!!!!! (Screen returns to normal.)  
  
Camera Dude: Oops!  
  
Krum: Anyway, we want to know who makes all these stupid scripts, but we can't find her.  
  
Fleur: Not even in the unreadable print in the credits.  
  
Hermione: The scripts started being published. When we traced it back to where the scripts were, all we found was a piece of paper with the word "Nahog," on it. It only meant two things: a place in Siberia, or Gohan backwards.  
  
Yami: Gohan? WOHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
Everyone: 0.o?  
  
Yami: *laughing so hard he's crying* Those people from DBZ?! Ha-ha! Oh my gosh! HAHAHAHA!!! Why do you look so worried? Those BIG MEN can take care of themselves.  
  
Paige: HEY!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone: 0.o?  
  
Voice of a thousand angels (Well, actually, it's my sister, but now she's in my debt. WOHAHAHAHA!!!): Don't mess with Paige.  
  
(Voice of a thousand angels materializes and turns into my sister and Bacoura. Chloe---oop! --- the voice of a thousand angels materialized is hugging Bacoura.)  
  
Chloe: He's soooo cute! Oh yeah, and Paige is a black belt thingy! So don't mess w/ the guys she likes!  
  
Yami: *realizing that what Chloe's saying is the truth* Ohhh. *notices Bacoura hugging Chloe* AHHHHHHHH!!! BACOURA!!!????  
  
Bacoura: Tee-hee-hee! Isn't she cute? I just adore her curls!! What? I DO have a life you know. You should get a girl friend. What about these nice girls?  
  
(Yami looks at Hotaru, Hermione, Misty, and Fleur.)  
  
Yami: Uh, where did all these people come from?  
  
Artemis: We came to see what all the fuss was about. I made a scientific conclusion that obviously Bacoura had appeared with the Blair Authoress's sister, but would they listen?  
  
Artemis + Hermione: Honestly!  
  
Everyone else: 0.o?  
  
Hermione: *It just now dawning on her* GOHAN!!!!! He's in trouble!!! We need to get to his house FAST!!!!!!!  
  
(Voldy pulls up in a 747 jet with the Bad Dad Association Logo on it. They hear Blaring loud music coming from the jet. The music is "The Middle" from Jimmy Eat World.)  
  
(Music): Everything, everything will be all right, everything, everything will be all right, all right!  
  
Peggy, Artemis, and Hotaru: All RIGHT!! (They jump in naturally.)  
  
Artemis: Come ON!! We have me and Pegasus on our side. In the money world, we can't lose!  
  
Everyone else: 0.o? (Then they jump in and buckle themselves. Doors of jet close, cockpit glass comes down.)  
  
Voldy: Prepare you're seat belts! *ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!*  
  
(Uh-duh, the jet lifted off.)  
  
Harry: Wow Pegasus. How much money do you and Artemis have combined?  
  
Pegasus: ...Inu-Yasha... *Turns page of manga book*  
  
Elena: What a short attention span. Tch-tch-tch.  
  
Yami: Will you be my girlfriend?  
  
Elena: Sure, as soon as these peeps get off my tail.  
  
Hermione: *Turns around and gasps* THE BLAIR AUTHORESS!!!  
  
Elena: Gotta run, Chow! (I disappear. *Twilight zone music!*)  
  
Voldy: We're now approaching Gohan's house!  
  
*SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!*  
  
(Uh duh, the jet landed. Hermione jumps out and runs into the house. Vageeta, Bulma, and Chi-Chi are there.)  
  
Vageeta: There you are! What took the FBI so long?!?!  
  
Hermione: *panting and running to Gohan's body* I'm not the FBI. *Sees Gohan's............................ knocked out.* What happened?  
  
Bulma: A strange looking girl came in here. Then he just blacked out.  
  
(Camera does a close up on Hermione's sweaty, worried face.)  
  
Hermione: *whispers* The Blair Authoress. *Screaming* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!  
  
Artemis (appears): What the heck! You didn't even know him!  
  
(Hermione starts crying. Artemis reluctantly comforts her.)  
  
Artemis: *Rolls his eyes* Its okay.  
  
(Everyone walks inside)  
  
Everyone: 0.o?  
  
Yami: I still don't have a girl friend.  
  
Hotaru: Hmm? *Notices paper on the floor.* What's this? *GASP!! Her face turned whiter than it already was.*  
  
Harry: What is it?  
  
Hotaru: *whispers* It's after me. (Turns piece of paper slowly around to reveal the symbol of Saturn. Looks like this: ?)  
  
(Hotaru walks back to the jet, looking like a ghost already.)  
  
Peggy: Creepy!  
  
(They all walk outside, right in time to see me being beamed up to a spaceship.)  
  
Voldy: TO THE JET!! LET'S FOLLOW THAT AUTHORESS!!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone else: RIGHT!  
  
Bulma: *waving* Take care! ^_^  
  
Chi-Chi: 8_8 My son!!  
  
(in the jet: ZOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!! Yah, it took off, to follow yours truly in my spaceship.)  
  
(Everyone goes up to Hotaru one by one to comfort her in her last moments.)  
  
*BANG!*  
  
Voldy: We're having some turbulence problems... OH! *Bangs the control panel*... Darn Air Force! They gave us a cheap one!  
  
*BEEP!! BEEP!! BEEP!! BEEP!!*  
  
Ash: We're gonna die in a jet plane crash!!!  
  
Artemis: Without a bathroom!!!  
  
Hermione: Drat! This is that Authoress's doing!  
  
Peggy: ...Inu-Yasha... (Turns page of manga book)  
  
Fleur: *At Peggy* YOU IDIOT! IT'S THE TIME TO PANIC AND YOU ARE READING A MANGA BOOK!!??  
  
Yami: You finally realize the truth.  
  
Fleur: *At Yami* THAT'S WHAT MY CHARACTER DOES!! WHAT, ARE YOU IN CHARACTER ALL THE TIME???!!!  
  
Yami: Well duh! It helps with me acting.  
  
Fleur: Humph! *Puts her hand in Yami's face.*  
  
Yami: Oh yeah. *Walks over to cockpit.* So what's happening?  
  
Voldy: We're having some more problems... *More beeping from plane's control panel* SHOOT! The engine is failing!  
  
Artemis: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!! *Start's breaking out in manic laughter*  
  
Everyone: 0.o? -_-;; "He's right. We're all gonna die."  
  
Hermione: *muttering some counter curse* henu incantu helli mettre...  
  
Krum: Stupid Blair Authoress!!  
  
Voldy: WE'RE CRAHING!! WE'RE CRASHING!!!  
  
Everyone: EEEEEEEEKKKKK!!!!!! *Everyone runs around senselessly*  
  
(Suddenly, everyone is on my spaceship.)  
  
Elena: Oh, C'MON! That was just a joke! You should have seen the look on your faces!  
  
(Everyone is angry at me, except for Yami)  
  
Yami: Will you be my girlfriend?  
  
Elena: Yup.  
  
Fleur: Wait, how do we know if you're really the Blair Authoress?  
  
Elena: Well, I do have this neat invisible keyboard.  
  
Krum: *snorts* Yeah, right! That's really convincing.  
  
Elena: Let's see... *I type something in the air*  
  
Peggy: *is doing the Macarena!* WAAA!! MY BODY IS MOVING BY ITSELF!!!  
  
Artemis: Ha-ha! Eh, MACARENA!  
  
Elena : WOHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
Yami: Nah, that's something he'd usually do.  
  
Elena: You're right.  
  
Everyone: HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!!  
  
Hermione: *gasps* You, you saved us!  
  
Elena: Well, DUH! And now, Yvan eht nioj!  
  
Krum: *gasps* It's some kind of curse!  
  
Everyone: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!  
  
Artemis: Actually, it's join the navy backwards.  
  
Everyone: -_- Shut up!  
  
(All look over + see Goten and Gohan walking into a padded titanium room, threatening each other. The door shuts behind them. All look @ me.)  
  
Yami: Why...  
  
Elena: They said they needed a place to, you know, clear up some brotherly rivalries they had.  
  
Fleur: And you ACTUALLY offered it to them?!  
  
(All look over to see a new dent in the wall where the titanium room is.)  
  
All: 0.0  
  
Elena: Yes. *Smirks*  
  
Yami: This is-  
  
Sakura: BOO!  
  
Yami: 0.0 GAHHHHHHH!!!!!! SHUT UP ALREADY!!  
  
Serena: (To camera) She's been doing him to this everywhere on the set. Hey! I can't believe I'm still here!  
  
Peggy: I can't believe I'm still doing the Macarena!  
  
Elena: Oops. Sorry about that. (Pushes button and Peggy stops.)  
  
Artemis: *Eating my secret stash of space food.* I can't believe it's not butter!  
  
Holly Short: You better believe it, Mud-Boy!  
  
Artemis: Hey! I thought you'd stop calling me that!! 


End file.
